Advice on Adulting and Doing Scary Life Shit

As you’ll notice immediately from the title of this post, this is not your vibes for the week. I am very sorry. I will talk about my fun adventures and cool stuff maybe in the middle of this week? Idk. But anyway. If you’re only here for the vibes feel free to tune in next week….

I don’t know if any of you reading this has made a big move in their lives lately, but lemme let you in on a little secret………………………………………..

Its HARDDDDDDDDDDD. Especially living in a city where you know exactly 5 people and not really on the “take a bullet for me and let me fart in front of you” level (farting is also as important as a bullet). I’m used to living with my cousins whom I would do all of the above for and my mom being an hour away if I ever need anything. Up here, I have to fend for myself in a lot of ways I didn’t anticipate. So I wanted to do this post giving some tips/advice for anyone moving somewhere far away or just adulting and scared. Mostly NYC stuff cause that’s what I know.

First and foremost, just do it

One of my biggest struggles was actually making the decision to move and following through with it. I wanted to do it so so bad when I was actually in school, but then after I graduated, things got a little too real. I was stuck in the “planning for tomorrow and now tomorrow is today” and I got scared shitless, not gonna lie. I worried about money, if I would ever get a job, if i’d be lonely and sad, if I’d hate it up here, if I’d ever be able to come home again and if I should just move somewhere closer. Ultimately, New York has always been a goal of mine and I just got fed up with myself and within the span of 2 weeks, got a plane ticket, got a place and got the f outta town. It’s something you can’t overthink, you have to feel it and do it.

You have more stuff than you think and getting it all over there is gonna suuuuccckkk

Packing all of my stuff and moving up here was so sucky. I have way more stuff than I anticipated and it was soo stressful trying to decide what I really needed and what I could live without. My bags were all packed to the GILLS which stressed me out and they were HEAVY which means getting my carryon out of the overhead bin was a struggle. To be honest though, I wouldn’t change it. I packed enough to where I had everything I needed and none of my luggage got lost thank god.

DO NOT TRY AND GET AN APARTMENT IMMEDIATELY I REPEAT DOOO NOOOTTT

I seriously considered just getting an AirBnB for like two weeks and then getting an apartment which is so very stupid and I’m glad I didn’t. If you’re moving to a place thats basically foreign to you and you can’t actually look at the apartments, do not try and get anything immediately. I got an Airbnb for a month and a half and it’s still a struggle trying to find an apartment. Honestly that’s the most challenging thing for me. People are just gonna try to see you places in shitty areas far as shit from the subway and wayyyyy too much money. Explore areas you like and try to find places there. It also takes foreverrrrrr to get a place because they’re all over the city and working full-time while trying to look at places is craziness. Save yourself the trouble and just get something temporarily.

Dont buy too many groceries, you eat out more often than not

This is really just a New York thing, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just bought meals because I was doing something till really late after work, or I didn’t have enough time to go home and grab something. Sometimes, it’ll take me an hour to get home from the city, so buying dinner is a necessity unless I wanna eat at 10pm. Whole Foods also just happens to be right next to my work, and they have buffalo cauliflower so in the end I’m eating better than I would at home thank you.

Dude just take the damn Uber

I love the subway. It’s usually fast and it’s cheap. But sometimes, and I struggle with this, I should’ve just taken an Uber. For example when I wanna wear heels to brunch and everyone on the subway looks at me like I’m the lochness monster. Or when I’m moving my shit out of my apartment and I really can’t carry everything without making another trip. Or when you just really wanna ride in a nice car that’s quiet and doesn’t smell like pee and you don’t have to be around other people. Sometimes you just gotta stop being cheap and give yourself a break from the subway hustle.

Food Delivery services are not your friend (except when reeeeaallly hungover)

It’s really annoying not to live right next to really good food places. My best option is always this sketchy pizza, chicken, Chinese place right next to my apartment. I get trapped in the food ordering thing because it easy and fast and when I don’t have a car and I look like crap I can just get my food and go back to the hole I crawled out of. My advice is to just grab it at a store, or go for the cheap places around where you live. Or make a night of it and actually get dinner with a friend. But if you’re short on time or your just really want a burger then do it. Self-care is key guys

Determination will get you everywhere

Living in New York can get pretty difficult. From basically getting hit by a car, to moving out of an apartment without a car, to finding out you’ve been walking the wrong way down a street for 30 minutes, this city can be stressful and it DEF has kept me on my toes. One thing that has got me through it is determination, plain and simple. I’ve wanted to be here since I can remember and the more time I spend in New York the more I fall in love with it. I am determined to be in this place that I love more than I’m willing to let its hardships bring me down. You have to want it more than any of the bullshit the city and life are gonna throw at you whether its a job or an apartment or just trying to thrive. You have to want it, like reallyy bad.

Sometimes your decisions are gonna have to be quick. They’re worth it

I’ve had to make some quick and stressful decisions this past couple months more than I ever have in my life. New York moves so fast and it can be hard to keep up, especially coming from the south. I love it, but it’s a crazy adjustment. You gotta hustle hard and just got with it. I’m not used to making decisions, especially big ones, on the fly. Take a breath and figure it out.

Support Support Support

Lastly, I would not and could not be where I am right this second without the support of my family and friends. Everyone has their own opinions about the decisions you make in your life. I had a bunch of people saying how crazy I was for moving up here with no job.  They were right of course and I knew it, but I had to go and find out for myself. However, I also had my fair share of support. Its the simple things like “wow you’re so brave that’s amazing” or when people get excited with you when you tell them about the cool adult thing you just did. I also wanna brag on my parents as well. My parents are amazing and have always supported anything and everything i have ever wanted to do. I can’t tell you how rad it feels when your mom says she’s proud of you or your dad taking care of something you just can’t do on your own. I’m so lucky to have amazing parents and friends who push me to do better and be better always. If you can support anyone doing anything scary or crazy, do it.

This probably goes without saying because ya’ll probably can tell from my posts but this crazy wild decision is the best one I’ve made in a long time. Right up there with going to LSU and buying that slice of pizza this morning. I’ll probably add more to this later when I’ve lived here longer but there ya have it. It’s been a crazy month but it also feels like I’ve been here forever? Excited for the fun times to come.

2 Replies to “Advice on Adulting and Doing Scary Life Shit”

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