Adventures in Crazy Workouts: Flywheel

I have a love/hate relationship with cycling classes. Okay, it’s mostly hate. I used to take them all the time at my University gym a couple years ago, ya know, when I was living my best life with a free gym included in my tuition. I thrived on my cycling 7 am classes on Monday’s and have tried to re-create those happy times in these trendy NYC cycling classes. I do love a good Monster cycle class, and I had some high hopes for Flywheel. As you guys know, or maybe don’t, I very much dislike Soulcycle. It’s got flashing colored lights, there’s a lot of yelling, and too many different moves (i.e MOVE UP! DOWN! HANDS AT FIRST! SECOND! RIGHT! LEFT! JUMP!), you get it. I prefer not to be screamed at while I workout, but maybe just me.

I figured I would try this place, simply because the first class was free. I went in, found my assigned bike, and patted myself on the back for being all early. The instructor walked in, talked at a normal volume and I took it as a good sign. As soon as the thought This might actually be okay started forming in my brain, he began to play house music and yelled, “YOU GUYS READY TO GO?!” It was definitely a struggle after that. I checked my apple watch probably every 10 minutes waiting for it to end. Which is sad because the only other time I do that when I work out is when I’m running—because running is just excruciating.

You know how you have ac certain voice when you talk to someone professional? Some people refer to this as their “customer service voice.” Our cycling instructor obviously had a “cycling instructor voice.” He sounded like a gay radio announcer. If you’re wondering “hmm, what does that sound like?” Here’s my best impression:

Okay it was deeper than that, but you get it. Now, I don’t wanna make fun of this dude. However, I can because I know he was putting this voice on. Imagine hearing that mixed with way-too-loud house music.

The one thing that was actually different about this class that I enjoyed was the ranking. We were able to see how we ranked in the class the entire time and even had short bursts of competition with each other towards the end of the ride. Definitely made me push myself to go faster!

Overall, this wasn’t my favorite. I like cycling, but hate when my ear drums burst while have a seizure from flashing lights. This is a workout, not a Kesha concert, thanks.

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