I’m Stanford!!!! This is the first time I’ve written in months and if you’re wondering why I’m writing this, of all things, I have no answers. I do, kinda, have a reason for this post.
So let’s go back, why am I re-watching Sex and the City for the 16 billionth time? I started listening to this new podcast called The Bradshaw Boys. It’s 3 straight guys watching Sex and the City for the first time (mostly) and then discussing it. Super hilarious and fun, highly recommend. At first, I wasn’t going to go back and watch the series with them since I’d already seen it multiple times. As they started going through the episodes, I really just couldn’t help myself and jumped in around Season 2.
One of the surprising things is the newfound annoyance with Carrie. I mean, come on girl, how are you trying to make this relationship with Big work if you never tell him how you feel about things? Every fight they ever have is about how she needs/wants something from him emotionally and is too scared to ask for it. This leads to her inevitable explosion and makes it a giant deal. I don’t wanna say the Big is innocent here, not at all. Anytime she does finally ask what the deal is, he’s usually super vague. I don’t, by any means, think their relationship is something to strive for. I do, however, get where she’s coming from a little. Personally, I find when I really like a guy; I hate bringing up any relationship talk. If you’ve been dating around a while, you sort of get the clue that when you bring that stuff up, it can blow up in your face. You either hear something you don’t like, or get rejected, and so it ends up just nagging you until you explode. I will say that sometimes when she does explode on him, it gets her the results she was looking for. For instance, when he doesn’t tell her he loves her in Season 2, she gets pissy and leaves him at a party. The next day, he actually says it over the phone. Thus, starting the cycle of silence, fight and reward. This is extremely toxic and pretty immature behavior, but I’ve been there. Should they have ended up together? No. You cant allow someone to treat you a certain way for X amount of months and then be surprised when they don’t get the hint that it’s not actually what you want.
I’ve never really been “big” on Big, but on the “Big vs. Aiden” debacle, I’ve always been Team Aiden. He was so sweet and soon much better than Big! I would argue Carrie was over correcting. By that, I mean she hated how badly she was treated by Big, so she went super left field. She needed the opposite of Big and she definitely got it. I always thought he was great, but in actuality, he’s kinda blah. He’s just there all the time. In her space and her life, but doesn’t really add anything. I don’t think he could ever actually hang out with her and her friends. He immediately tried to change her with the smoking thing. Literally all they do is lounge around her place being boring. We give “nice” guys such a huge pass, simply because they’re nice, but let’s please up the bar ladies. Maybe if we did, there’d be more nice guys to go around! Nice should be base level, what else does he have besides nice? I think Carrie stayed with him half of the time, just because he was nice, and then the rest of the time, just because she felt bad for him because he was nice. Think about when she first said, “I love you” to him. She said it right after he did and she had just cheated on him with Big. She didn’t love him, clearly. Also, they just truly did not mesh well. He didn’t like smokers; he liked the outdoors and loved staying in with his dog. She liked to party, smoke and be glamorous. She literally never went to a single party or outing when they were together, I mean what up with that? At least Big could keep up with her, her friends and her lifestyle. I get it nice is so refreshing. Dating a bunch of crappy dudes will really have you reaching for some boredom in your love life. It’s easier and you think that’ll mean predictability and that it’ll work out better. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t. Nice just translates to “I’m saving myself from getting hurt this time” which isn’t always the case, especially with Carrie.
It’s probably true that every time you watch a series again, you get something different out of it. You hopefully have different experiences all the time, so you watch things though a different perspective. I know Carrie’s overcorrecting because I’ve been there myself. On the Big vs. Aiden thing, I’m neither. I’m more of a Harry-Smith-Steve gal myself.